It's recommended that parents read aloud to their children for at least 20 minutes a day.
I'm not sure who recommends this, and I'm not in the mood to 'Google' and find out, but I'm guessing...National Librarians Association? Some federation of Pediatricians? Mr. Spock? (No, wait...it's Dr. Spock that gave the baby advice, right? Hmm...I kind of like the idea of Mr. Spock giving child-rearing advice, though. I might be a little more inclined to follow it.)
Anyway, you're supposed to read out loud to your kids. To get their synapses firing, to develop a love of books....something like that.
Now, if you're a homeschooler, like me, you're well aware that the general idea in home educating circles is that 20 minutes is NOTHING! Why, Margie May reads out loud for at least two hours, daily! That guy who wrote A Thomas Jefferson Education once read to his kids for around five hours straight!
That is not the case, here.
I mean, don't get me wrong; I totally believe in the good that reading aloud to children accomplishes. If my throat allowed, I'd do a lot more of it. (Do these people keep Ricola in business, or what?)
But....it's the kids.
Not the big kids, mind you; at least one of them would enjoy more reading aloud. His sister prefers to do the reading (I'm the same way; don't listen as well unless I can see the words), and that's worked out well for them. They've developed a sort of symbiotic reading relationship, where she reads out loud and he listens. (They're currently working through 'The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes' this way).
It's those 'Littles'.
The little girls enjoy a read aloud, on their level, and about their interests (horses and fairies, basically) but aren't really motivated to listen to me drone on and on about Napoleon, or chemistry, etc. So, I allow them to move freely through the Rumpus Room while I try to read to the 'Bigs'. This usually works, to an extent.
But there's also...the Baby.
Here, let me try and give you a picture of what I'm talking about....(the following account is not an actual transcript of any one day in particular, but more like a composite sketch of our Read Aloud Times Past)
Crib Chick: Okay, let's see...today I'm going to read to you about...The Reign of Terror." ('Peep' #2, an 11 year-old boy, perks up significantly when he hears this.)
'Peep' #3 (five-year-old): "Can we have a snack?"
Snacks are procured for everyone, except the Crib Chick of course, who would really like a cookie, and probably needs one the most of anyone in the room, but of course she's the adult and has to do the reading, and---okay, anyway.
Crib Chick: "Okay, once again...where were we? Ah, yes...'Robespierre was--' "
A discussion between 'Peep' #3 and 'Peep' #4 (five- and four-years old, respectively, both of whom are dressed as princesses, one holding a wooden sword, and the other, a hot pink walkie-talkie) over who really had the purple pony first is escalating to a point where it's difficult for the Crib Chick to make herself heard. She decides to ignore them, using the 'Lord of the Flies' parenting approach that advocates letting children 'work out their differences'.
Crib Chick: "---made Director of the Committee of Public Safety."
The Crib Chick has to stop and snicker at the irony of this title, for this particular man, and in that brief pause, the Princess Peeps' disagreement dissolves into full-blown fisticuffs, and necessitates her intervention. When she sits back down, 'Peep' #2 indicates that he has a question, and the Crib Chick gets excited, wondering what part of this peek into times past has captured his imagination...
'Peep' #2: "Is X-Men 2 okay for kids to watch?"
The Crib Chick sighs and reminds 'Peep' #2 that they must take whatever limited bits of quiet they get to focus on the subject at hand, and then dodges, cat-like, in order to narrowly avoid being thunked in the nose with a large, molded plastic car.
'Peep' #5 (18 months old): "CAR?! CAR?! CAR?! CAR?!CAR?!
Crib Chick: "Yes, car! Now, Robespierre was able to---"
'Peep' #5 (turning his head slightly sideways, in a pose reminiscent of the RCA puppy, and getting within a centimeter of the Crib Chick's eyes): "CAR?! CAR?! CARCARCARCAR?!?!?"
Crib Chick: "Yes! That's a car....rrrmmmmm...."
The Crib Chick pantomimes racing the car over 'Peep' #5's belly, to his great amusement, and then puts it on the ground, where it holds his attention for exactly 10 seconds.
Crib Chick (cautiously picks the book back up, determined to make it through an entire sentence): "Robespierrewasabletoarrestanycitizen---"
'Peep' #5 (climbing onto the Crib Chick's lap and pounding her chest, which is his polite way of indicating that he wants to nurse): "NUH?! NUH?! NUH?! NUH?!"
The Crib Chick gets him settled on her lap, fights with him for a moment to convince him that his preferred method of nursing (with her shirt stretched as high as it will reach) is not necessary, and continues.
Crib Chick: "...any citizen that opposed the Committee..."
'Peep' #5 reaches around behind him, while still nursing, feeling for the book. Once he makes sure that he has it, he attempts to crumple the pages. While continuing to nurse.
Crib Chick (extending her arm as far as it will reach, as 'Peep' #5 tries to extend his, as well. While still nursing, of course): "...was in danger..."
'Peep' #5 takes a small, chubby foot and places it directly over the Crib Chick's mouth.
Crib Chick: "...wftheGuilloutine."
The other 'Peeps' giggle uncontrollably, then dissolve into laughter, making it useless to continue reading, and therefore reinforcing to 'Peep' #5 that this is definitely the way to go when one wants to Stop Read Alouds in the future.
In all seriousness...I love reading to my kids. I love the things we've learned together, and the connectedness of it.
It is NOT easy to do, with certain ages of children, and with some children in particular...but I officially want to encourage all of you parents out there who struggle with read alouds to keep on keepin' on. Read in little snatches, here and there. Do what you can do...and be creative. Don't worry if your length of time isn't on par with Libby Lou...just endeavor to have an enjoyable read aloud time that suits your family.
Stretch yourself a little...but not too much.
It really is worth the drive to the brink of insanity.
